Realities on Divorce, Dating, Parenting and Re-Invention

#7. From the Mouths of Babes

7 Babes

#7. From the Mouths of Babes

When the bills pile up and succeeding in my life seems to be impossible feat, my son always drops a whopper to make me laugh.  Even when he doesn’t know it, he throws out a sort of life raft that inspires me to keep going.

When he was about two years old, we were grocery shopping in a store geared towards low-income people.  I was feeling lost and ashamed to be in such a store.  My son was riding in the cart, and began to point at a woman who was shopping near us in the same aisle.  Suddenly, at the top of his lungs, he started shouting, “WHORE!  WHORE!” at the poor unsuspecting shopper.  I froze.  

My son was calling some strange woman a whore. 

Where did he learn such a word?  Oh my Lord… The woman looked mortified.  Then I noticed that the woman had a picture of a horse on her shirt.  I tried to explain that my son was in fact stating the word “horse”, but her English wasn’t very good. (Interesting that the word ‘whore’ crosses all linguistic boundaries…)  After she was out of sight, I laughed so hard that I cried.  A little laughter sure goes a long way.

Around the same time, about eight years ago, I couldn’t find a job for the life of me.  Legal bills were ridiculously high, and I was flat broke.  I took my son for a walk around the neighbourhood and we passed a Dollar Store.  My son desperately wanted some trinket on display.  I didn’t even have a dollar.  I couldn’t even get him a toy that cost one dollar.  After we went back to our apartment, I clumsily tripped on my own foot and went head first into the corner of a table.  That was the straw that broke the camels back.  I burst into tears. 

I felt like a total loser.  I was broke, unable to spare a single dollar and bleeding.  My son asked me why I was crying.  I replied, “I just can’t make anything work.  I’m so sorry.  I’m so sorry I couldn’t get you that toy.” (I was actually sorry that this amazing kid was stuck with a loser like me for a mother.) He wrapped his little arms around me and said, “Mommy,  I love you. Just believe in yourself.”  I kid you not.  I wiped the tears away from my face, and my demeanor changed instantly.  I straightened up, and said, “Okay”.

I didn’t have any money.  And I didn’t have a job.  But I was the most important person to this incredibly amazing child.  And that made me the most important person in the world. That sentiment has carried me through and still makes my heart sing. 

So when you’re down, and have no idea what you are going to do, you don’t have to look any further than your own child/children to know that you are special.  And whatever issue you have WILL pass.  What remains is the infinite love and special relationship that you have with the greatest person/people in your world.  Your kid/kids.

  1. elizabeth mareya
    elizabeth mareyaSep 01, 2011

    its really hard to be a parent but at the end of the day our kids wouldnt really mind if he doesnt get a toy but would mind when you dont show love. at the end of it all your love is all tht counts really. and never cry in front of kids it puts a strain on them avoid that.

  2. elizabeth mareya
    elizabeth mareyaSep 01, 2011

    its really hard to be a parent but at the end of the day our kids wouldnt really mind if he doesnt get a toy but would mind when you dont show love. at the end of it all your love is all tht counts really. and never cry in front of kids it puts a strain on them avoid that.

    • Hayley
      HayleySep 02, 2011

      Thanks for your comments! Love is everything. And I agree that we should avoid replacing our significant other in that role. They need to be kids – not our best friends.

  3. Rebecca
    RebeccaSep 01, 2011

    I went through a rough divorce last year. When ever I feel down or upset about where I am in life, my financial difficulties or my now 2 year old son growing up with out his father, I just look at my son. I realize that we are better off now then where we were last year. Just looking at my son makes me smile. I know that he loves me unconditionally. Hearing him run down the hallway yelling “mommy” seems to make everything okay. I know that we will have rough times, but I also know that we will have an amazing life together…even if it’s just the two of us. I just found your blog and I love it. I can totally relate to what you are writing about. Thanks for sharing.

    • Hayley
      HayleySep 02, 2011

      Thanks so much for reading! I actually think we single moms are ahead of the game. The sooner we get out, is the sooner we can build the lives that we want!

  4. Mini
    MiniSep 02, 2011

    I liked the “Whore” comment coming from your son. My son is 5 and we were driving down a street where “hookers” usually would stand around. He started yelling and pointing, “Look Mom, a Hooker, a hooker.” I was shocked at what came out of his mouth. He repeated this a couple of times all while I was laughing SOOO hard at the thought that he knew of such a word. He than said “A Hooker Truck”, meaning he was actually talking about a Tow-Truck. I had to pull over because I now couldn’t see with the tears coming down my face from laughing so hard.

    I’m a single mom as well and I know how you feel about times getting tough. I thought I would let you know that you will get somewhere and things will work out. I’m 25 years old and I just bought my son and I a town house. It’s the best feeling in the world. Going from having no money and living with my dad to having a great job and buying a house for ourselves makes me feel like No MAN can make me feel as good as I do on my own.

    • Hayley
      HayleySep 02, 2011

      You go girl! Great stories! You are indeed an inspiration for us all. The skies are the limit! Thanks so much for your comment! Keep ‘em coming!

  5. Eryn
    ErynOct 05, 2013

    Thank you for this. Made me teary xo

    • Hayley
      HayleyOct 05, 2013

      Thank you for your comment and taking the time to read my blog! Much love.

  6. Jasmine
    JasmineMar 02, 2014

    I feel the same way sometimes! We’re lucky to have such inspiring kids! Thanks for sharing, I am so happy to have found this wonderful blog!

    • Hayley
      HayleyMar 04, 2014

      Thank you for reading! Welcome! I agree that we are the lucky ones.

    Leave a Reply

    CommentLuv badge
    WordPress SEO