#123. Private Callers
As a policy, I never answer a phone (cell or home) if the call display reads “Private Caller”. Generally speaking, if the person phoning remains anonymous, it’s because they know that their call is unwanted. Why these sneaky people continue to phone those who do not want to speak to them is beyond me. Luckily, more times than not, the ‘Private Caller” is only a pesky Telemarketer, not Adolf Hitler.
As a parent though, I have to bend my policies from time-to-time for safety purposes. For example, Friday night my son was out with his friends. His 8000th cellphone just broke, so he was phone-free. Thus, when I received a ‘Private Caller’ on my home phone, I naturally answered it thinking that my boy was calling me from a pay phone or something.
It was an adult male voice asking for my son. I paused wondering why some strange man is calling for my son. Maybe this time it was Adolf Hitler! Then the caller identified himself. It was my son’s father (whose name eerily rhymes with Adolf Hitler – I’m just saying…). Huh. I totally forgot about my ex! I mean, since I’m going into the 4th consecutive month of no child-support, I am aware of his sadistic existence, but he plays such an insignificant role in my life that he’s sort of like Snuffleupagus to me. (That is, the Snuffleupagus before anyone other than Big Bird could see him.) In this case, my son (Big Bird) reminds me that his father (Snuffleupagus) does in fact exist, but there is no evidence of him in my real life.
Having told my ex that my son was out and would return the call upon his return, I quickly hung up the phone. Even though I would really like to receive some child support, I was not going to engage with my ex any further. I prefer to communicate ONLY via email so everything is documented. Besides, I suspect that this withholding of the child support game is to get me to beg so he can feel powerful and have control over me. Why he cares to have control over little old me is totally insane. The issue should be about ensuring that our son’s needs are met above any other abusive intention directed towards me. But, it is what it is.
I’m not gonna freak out about the whole ‘no-child-support’ thing. That is simply who my ex is. I will wait, as I have done before, for the law to intervene and force him to honour his parental obligations and agreement that he himself proposed (after a year of nonsensical legal fees to financially cripple me and negatively effect our son as a result). They say that a man is as good as his word… He keeps reminding me of how lucky I am to have left when I did!
Speaking of money, I am working steadily and making ends meet without the child support. I’m squeaking by barely and not making a fortune but am hopefully on the right road to a more financially stable future. Obviously, freelance writing and acting are not stable ventures, but maybe I’ll get lucky one of these days. Or not. At least I will know that I tried everything I could with the skill set I have while begging for change and drinking Scope (alcohol free of course!) on a park bench. How comforting that knowledge will be… Whatever. It’s all bullshit anyway.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. My ex may have a beautiful home in the most expensive real estate of Toronto, a cottage, cars, nice furniture, expensive gadgets, trips, designer clothes, etc., but I’d rather be poor and happy than live for one day in unbearable misery cloaked in a fancy lifestyle with him. As comfortable as all that window dressing appears to be, I know from personal experience that it’s meaningless if there are lies, cruelty, anger and fear behind it. Of course I would be a lot happier with money for financial reasons, but my son and I have what we need and the most incredibly close and honest relationship I could ever have dreamed of. I still say that I’m the lucky one.
Although, note to self: best to adhere to the policy of no answering the phone when it says ‘Private Caller’!
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