Realities on Divorce, Dating, Parenting and Re-Invention

#9. I’m Just Saying…

9 Just Saying

#9. I’m Just Saying…

This is not going to be pretty.  I warn you.  I woke up so happy today.  Little did I know…

As a single mom, money is always an issue.  Figuring out what bill HAS to be paid immediately versus what can wait for a month or two is a constant juggling act.  At the bottom of this hierarchy of needs is personal grooming.  Manicures, pedicures, etc. are indeed a rarity, unless I have found some amazing local voucher deal.  I did buy a Brazilian wax voucher sometime ago, and finally decided to tough it up and hop to it.  ‘I’m gonna wax and be like a real person’, I thought.

So I was ushered into the tiny wax room of a Vietnamese Nail Salon.  I knew it would hurt, but I was ready for it.  The Wax Woman instructed me to get naked from the waist down in her very broken English.  There I was, spread eagle in the family way.  The Wax Woman put on the first line of wax on my bikini line.  Suddenly there was a knock at the door.  Before I had a chance to react, the Wax Woman invited in the two Vietnamese women at the door.  We were all squished in this tiny room together.  There I was on display with three small Vietnamese women seemingly discussing my nether region like it was a spectator sport.  Sounds like, “Wha!” and giggles were audible in their conversation presumably about my female bits.  One of them even told me to lose weight.  It was a Roast!

Humiliated, I figured I could salvage the day of grooming by getting some hair dye and giving myself a fresh new look. (I don’t think anyone is buying the grey hairs as highlights anymore.) Going to get my hair done at the salon is a thing of the past.  For that one-hundred dollars plus I would blow on my hair, I could buy food, clothes, etc.  But, a box of colour from the pharmacy is right in my budget.  I went home and squeezed the bottle of “Chocolate Mahogany” all over my head.  I sat there for twenty-five minutes anxious to see how fabulous my new dark brown hair would be.  I washed it out and dried it.  Oh shit.  My hair is black. I look like an old weird crazy goth lady.  It’s sort of like Angelina Jolie’s hair when she was creepy and kissing her brother.  Shit.  I can’t afford to go to the salon and have it fixed, and I fear if I try to re-dye it a lighter shade, my hair might just fall out.  Best to quit while I’m, in this case scenario, ahead.

My vagina is sore and feels violated.  My hair looks like the mother’s in the Addams Family.  My son walked past me and looked quizzically at my hair, “Mid-life crisis?”  I should have cut my losses after the waxing audience episode.  I’m gonna look like Marilyn Manson for the next couple of months till my hair can stand a new dye.  There’s always hats right?  Great.  Maybe my hair will fade with washing…  Staying positive.  But I didn’t like today at all.  I’m just saying.




  1. Jim
    JimSep 04, 2011

    It’s only a brief moment in time, it’s not significant enough in the grand scheme of things.


    • Hayley
      HayleySep 04, 2011

      Thanks Jim. You’re right. I still have my health. Thanks for the perspective!

  2. Tania
    TaniaSep 04, 2011

    Those salon ladies can be brutal sometimes I’ll go in for a manicure and they’ll say ” you need wax mustache” ummm okay I didn’t think I did but I’m paranoid now Lol

  3. heidi
    heidiSep 04, 2011

    I ran into your blog and as a fellow single mama, I think you are hilarious! I am constantly nodding my head in a ” I totally get that: kind of way. Thanks for the stories.

    • Hayley
      HayleySep 04, 2011

      Thank you so much for checking out my blog! Sorry you relate – especially if you relate to the mean waxers or bad hair! Oh well. Life goes on… Thanks for your comment!

  4. Amy
    AmySep 04, 2011

    OMG! You must have felt like a piece of crap lying there! Bleh, you are braver than I, surviving the yearly pap/pelvic is enough for me. Those women were heartless. Can you think of a more vulnerable position to be in while being critiqued? Shiver..

    As for the hair? I recently splurged and got a color job. I wanted it to cover the blond highlights I got forever ago and cover the grey, go back to my natural light brown. Yep, for $150 I got near BLACK hair. So take comfort you only spent a few bucks to get the wrong color ;( Dish washing soap, lots of it. Brings out the color with each wash..

    Love your blog.

    • Hayley
      HayleySep 04, 2011

      NO! You paid big money to look like a creepy goth lady too? Yikes! In retrospect, I should’ve done the ‘strand test’. But who really does that? I actually had blond highlights too, so I probably should’ve picked a lighter brown. I’m all over the palmolive. Thanks for the advice! As for the waxing – what else can i say? If only the Gynecologist did the waxing during the pap test. I mean, it’s gonna suck anyway and they are professionals… Thanks for your comment!

      • Amy
        AmySep 04, 2011

        Yeah and docs can give you Ativan while doing it ;) Or knock you out!

        Yup, I spent the big bucks (new place for me, had NO idea they were so pricey) to look like a middle aged GOTH. I can honestly say BLACK is not my color. My thought was that a professional could even things out so I could go back to doing it myself. Cripes I am pretty sure that for the cost of a box and doing it myself I could have done a better job (yeah just let me pretend ;)

        Just keep on washing, washing, washing!

  5. Ichiko
    IchikoSep 04, 2011

    Oh boy! Bad hair for ladies is he worst and I know! I’m a hairstylist. So luckily as a single mama I don’t have to worry about paying to get my hair done but that doesn’t mean a couple of experiments havent left me with some nightmare hair. Like someone previously said dish soap can sometimes lift some of the colour out especially if you do it right away. Also for the future whenever goig darker especially when doing it at home i would use a semi permanent it should blend the grey hair may not cover it but hey would be more believable as ‘hilights’ lol. And will slowly fade so if u don’t like it not as big of deal. I wish i knew more about store bought hair colour to help those out who can’t afford to come in and get there hair done I know it’s an expense and I recommend if you are going to a new hairstylist to ask people whose hair you like where they go. Same with waxing me and all of my friends all go to the same lady. He knows all our gossip too and speaks English as her first language hahaha!!! It’s my one thing I ‘treat’ myself to every month.

    • Hayley
      HayleySep 05, 2011

      Oops – It’s been a few days and I haven’t used the dish soap yet. K – getting right on it! I WISH I used the semi-permanent. Of course I used the permanent with amonia. I don’t really know why, other than being completely ignorant, did I use the strongest colour. I don’t even have that much grey. Think I had good intentions but little knowledge. Best to leave such important issues to professionals. DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME!!!!

  6. Ms. Single Mama
    Ms. Single MamaSep 05, 2011

    That is TERRIBLE. Isn’t there a way to re-dye it another color? Man, I don’t let anyone touch my hair (let alone myself). If it makes you feel better, once when I dyed my hair out of a box and it turned purple. Here’s an idea – go to the brand that made the hair dye’s Facebook page. Take a picture of your hair and upload it (if they allow fan photo uploads) and then a) demand a refund and b) tell everyone how shitty that particular color really looks. In a nice way, of course. And then, maybe they will give you tips on how to fix it or $$$ for a salon re-do. At the very least, you will have prevented other women from making the same mistake. Earn some good karma out of the experience.

    • Hayley
      HayleySep 05, 2011

      Purple huh? I guess mine isn’t that bad… I actually called the company but because I didn’t do the strand test that they clearly stated was crucial, there isn’t much they are willing to do. You live you learn. I’m gonna try washing it with dish soap. Like i’m a big fry pan. Thank you Ms. Single Mama for your comment and your AWESOME blog!!!!!

  7. Ichiko
    IchikoSep 05, 2011

    Aww man this is why store hair color sucks because they dont educate you enough to understand what would be right for your hair. They need a little how to guide for each brand. At the salon I use two different brands of color and in each brand there are multiple different choice such as amonia free permanent, permanent, semi perm etc. Then there is a multitude of colors and peroxides to mix together to make the perfect concoction for a specific client. I’ve probably done 100′s of fix ups and feel ba everytime you have to charr someone for a mistake when thy were trying to save money.

    • Amy
      AmySep 05, 2011

      That is what my hairdresser friend once told me (who unfortunately lives far away). That there is a whole slew of chemistry going on behind a good coloring job… But yeah, most times I do it from a box (semi permanent) to save $$.

  8. Dee
    DeeSep 06, 2011

    Good lord, girl! You ought to be publishing the name of that waxing place to alert people that they should not go there, and thus put them out of business. That is behaviour is so shameful that it is not even funny.

    Ok: personal grooming. For colour, go to places that carry professional colour. Places like Beauty Supply Outlet have peroxide and professional colour (both permanent and semi.) They can tell you EXACTLY what to do. Or, bite the bullet and go to First Choice Haircutters. Believe it or not, they know what they’re doing, and at a fraction of the cost.

    I do my own waxing too, by the way. I buy water soluble “Moom” from Noah’s, and it lasts, well, as long as you take to use it. Months at least. Anyway, 20 minutes and I do my underarms, lower legs, bikini area and even my arms. Not for everyone, I understand, but it is economical and doesn’t take nearly as much time as going to a salon. : )

    • Hayley
      HayleySep 11, 2011

      Thank you so much for the tips!!! I’m all over it!

  9. vimax
    vimaxSep 07, 2011

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    • Hayley
      HayleySep 07, 2011

      Thank you so much for reading!!! I am certain that my experiences are more common than not, and it is comforting to know that you are not alone! Please keep your comments coming.

  10. Erin
    ErinSep 13, 2011

    Try dawn dish soap on the hair, I’ve heard it helps.

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