#17. Go Sell Crazy Somewhere else…
Here I was all ready for the ‘Mediation’ today, when my phone rang at 9:30am this morning. The Assistant to the Mediator called me and said with a concerned tone, “I got a very upsetting call. Your ex has cancelled today’s appointment due to a funeral at 5:00pm today.” Our appointment was for 4:00pm. I can’t believe that the Mediator is falling for this. Who gets a last minute emergency funeral? And what funeral is held at 5:00pm? So, I called around to all the funeral homes and checked online like a lunatic for all funerals occurring today. What a shock. There are none at 5:00pm. Only the fictitious one in my ex’s imagination. The Gift did it again.
He avoids the possibility of being confronted with his craziness and thus he can continue to behave however he sees fit. Like a Dictator. I’m telling you, dealing with this on-going stupidity is affecting my intelligence. I think with every cockamamie stunt my ex pulls, my IQ is reduced by one point. To get onto that level is mind numbing. So, what do I do now? The on-going tactics of my ex consist of Ignore and Avoid.
I keep doing exactly what I’m supposed to do by the letter of the law, yet the rules don’t seem to apply to my ex. Every time I think I’m out of Crazytown, I get sucked back in. If I have to live in Crazytown, I need to start behaving like a crazy person. That seems to work for my ex. Being a reasonable, law abiding citizen is just not working. But how exactly should I act?
I have a dog named Fluffy The Dog who is my new mentor. I was thinking about my dog this morning. It’s amazing how he can be dead asleep and wake up instantly with 100% energy. When there is an intruder at the door, he barks. He plays when he wants to and does whatever pops into that cute little doggie brain. There is a method to his doggie madness. Maybe if I start to act like him I will succeed in this on-going lunacy with my ex. From now on when something I don’t like happens, I’m gonna bark like a dog. Yup. The next time the Mediator’s office calls me with nonsense, I am going to Bark into the phone and hang up. When my ex issues some directive that I am supposed to obey like a drone, I am going to pee on his leg. That`s right. If I’m gonna have to live in Crazytown, then I’m gonna assume my designated role of Idiot as my way is clearly not working. Look, it`s the best plan I have for these circumstances. BARK BARK BARK!!!!