Realities on Divorce, Dating, Parenting and Re-Invention

#17. Go Sell Crazy Somewhere else…

17 Sell Crazy

#17. Go Sell Crazy Somewhere else…

We`re all stocked up here.

Here I was all ready for the ‘Mediation’ today, when my phone rang at 9:30am this morning. The Assistant to the Mediator called me and said with a concerned tone, “I got a very upsetting call. Your ex has cancelled today’s appointment due to a funeral at 5:00pm today.” Our appointment was for 4:00pm. I can’t believe that the Mediator is falling for this. Who gets a last minute emergency funeral? And what funeral is held at 5:00pm? So, I called around to all the funeral homes and checked online like a lunatic for all funerals occurring today. What a shock. There are none at 5:00pm. Only the fictitious one in my ex’s imagination. The Gift did it again.

He avoids the possibility of being confronted with his craziness and thus he can continue to behave however he sees fit. Like a Dictator. I’m telling you, dealing with this on-going stupidity is affecting my intelligence. I think with every cockamamie stunt my ex pulls, my IQ is reduced by one point. To get onto that level is mind numbing. So, what do I do now? The on-going tactics of my ex consist of Ignore and Avoid.

I keep doing exactly what I’m supposed to do by the letter of the law, yet the rules don’t seem to apply to my ex. Every time I think I’m out of Crazytown, I get sucked back in. If I have to live in Crazytown, I need to start behaving like a crazy person. That seems to work for my ex. Being a reasonable, law abiding citizen is just not working. But how exactly should I act?

I have a dog named Fluffy The Dog who is my new mentor. I was thinking about my dog this morning. It’s amazing how he can be dead asleep and wake up instantly with 100% energy. When there is an intruder at the door, he barks. He plays when he wants to and does whatever pops into that cute little doggie brain. There is a method to his doggie madness. Maybe if I start to act like him I will succeed in this on-going lunacy with my ex. From now on when something I don’t like happens, I’m gonna bark like a dog. Yup. The next time the Mediator’s office calls me with nonsense, I am going to Bark into the phone and hang up. When my ex issues some directive that I am supposed to obey like a drone, I am going to pee on his leg. That`s right. If I’m gonna have to live in Crazytown, then I’m gonna assume my designated role of Idiot as my way is clearly not working. Look, it`s the best plan I have for these circumstances. BARK BARK BARK!!!!

  1. Tammy Flores
    Tammy FloresSep 22, 2011

    LOL I hope you are keeping a log of this because if it ever came down to it he would have to provide the name of the person he was attending the funeral of at 5 PM that he just found out about the day of your mediation appointment.

    *CAUTION* It has been my experience that some of these so called “Mediators” are looking for anything to bring the madness to an end so presentation is very important.

    Passive agressive personalities always try to put a monkey wrench in things. Technically it is not a personality disorder, but there are traits they will display and it can drive anyone that has to have involvment with that person crazy.

    They can display anger in a normal way, but find it more effective (or maybe they do it subconciously) to resist following through with expectations/responsibilities, procastinating, finding fault with others, forgetting, and a huge tell tail is if they have problems with authority figures. Like if they are resentful or envious of other peoples successes and feel that they should have more or be in the better position/station in life.

    They are not capable of expressing their needs/wants, so they just drive the other person to the Crazytown you find yourself in. There’s a 50/50 chance that he is fully aware of what he is doing.

    Remember back to when you were married did you ever ask him to pick up let’s say Skim Milk and American Cheese, but he came home with Whole Milk and Swiss Cheese… but not just once, but almost everytime you asked him?

    *SCREAMS* He probably drove you to Crazytown before this LOL

    There’s a lot out there on how the sane person can deal with the person driving them insane, but what has worked for me is that you just let them own what they say and do. DO NOT allow it to transfer onto you with feelings of guilt or doubt :) That will drive him to Crazytown.

    I just love what you are doing here. I could go on and on about this stuff all day. I think sharing your experiences is so encouraging to others that have been to Hell and back again. Keep them coming.

    • Hayley
      HayleySep 22, 2011

      Thank you so much for your comments! Undoubtedly your experience and words of wisdom will enlighten others.

    • Kelenna
      KelennaNov 15, 2011

      This is exactly what I was looikng for. Thanks for writing!

  2. Samantha
    SamanthaSep 26, 2011

    LOL! Whew! I’ve been to Crazytown and back. I like your ignore and avoid option, though that may not always work. I had to find the one thing that meant the most, the place where he had the most pride and threaten to pull it all down around him like a house of cards. It worked and he vanished….POOF…like a cloud of smoke.

    Being your sane, law abiding self, does not help in these situations because you are not dealing with a sane person. You have to get a little crazy too, but not get stuck there. You will find the right button. When you do push it like there is no tomorrow (once you’ve weighed the consequences). The point is to be two-three steps ahead of the insanity.

  3. mojo mama
    mojo mamaSep 27, 2011

    Mediation is not for everyone. You try. You give him enough rope to build a bridge to sanity or to hang himself. But you detach from any attempt at making him do one thing or another. You don’t control his behavior, as he is teaching you.

    Set a deadline that works for *you*. And then move forward with another method of achieving your goals.

    • Hayley
      HayleySep 28, 2011

      Thank you for your very sound advice. Think I will do exactly as you say!

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